Friendships

I've been reminiscing lately about the past and by past I mean everything that I've been through since freshman year. It's crazy how much I've grown physically and mentally. I've gone through so many different stages of friends yet I can't even recall how friendships started or how they slowly faded. I think its weird how you're good friends with a person for a fair amount of time and then somehow they're not in your life any more. When you pass by that person or see them, you both act like you don't know each other.

Even if I don't say hi to an old friend when I walk by them, it doesn't necessarily mean that they mean nothing to me. Memories of our time spent together flash in my mind. So even when no words are spoken, an everlasting impression is engraved in my memory base of the close or distant connection we use to share.

Sometimes when I'm feeling kind of down or lonely, I read old aim conversations or look at old pictures and in a way, they make me happy. Each picture captures a moment in time in which I am in a state of happiness. Old conversations often remind me of how my life use to be and how much everything has changed either it be good or bad. Even looking at old conversations from ex lovers is entertaining for me. All the things I use to say or do is a reflection of the person I use to be. All the good and bad memories have taught me something valuable and I don't regret it at all. Even if those past experiences were painful for me, I don't regret any of it because pain is a building block towards becoming a stronger person.

Sometimes though, I wish I could catch up with all the people I've built a close relationship with. Even though everyone is at a different place in life, its always nice to stop and reminisce because at one point in time, we shared a chapter of our life together.

I lost a handful of really close friends and sometimes I just want to catch up with them but I know that it doesn't work that way when so much time has come between a friendship.

Maybe one day though,

I should sleep. lol

bye.