Tired souls

Hello. I haven't had much sleep since last last week. I guess everyone can say the same since its finals week or was finals week for anyone running on quarter system. I really can't wait till Wednesday night when I can pull my head out my chemistry or math book. It still seems like theres not enough time to do anything. School wise, a quarter system goes by really fast so you have to stay on your game or else you're left in the dust. As for semester system, it seems too slow and boring that people ( or the ones I've noticed ) grow lazy to even use the time to throughly understand the subject.

This is so lame, I want to enjoy spring break along with everyone else. T_T. I've been yearning to read something other than a textbook or article selected by an instructor. I just want to sit down somewhere nice with a cup of espresso, tea, or smoothie, and a book. It would also be nice if the sun was out past the horizon, with just enough warmth so that a sweater is not needed. Winds at only 3 mph would make this day superb and complete. I miss summer already although the past few summers have been non-summer like.

I miss the feeling of having absolutely nothing to do besides having fun and chilling. But thats not how life works. Life is always busy, people are always busy, things are always going to need to be done and people to do them. We live a fast paced life that home is no longer a sanctuary. Just a place with more things to do. People to feed, things to clean, bills to pay.

At work, I always see tired people coming in for a daily overdose of caffeine, just enough caffeine to make it through the day. Some come in a hurry and leave because theres no time to spare, others sit for a few minutes and just relax because they know that once they reach home, just another batch of tiring tasks awaits them. No one has incentive to do anything anymore. People work because no one else will do their job for them. They work because they have children and spouses to support. They work because they have bills to pay. Most people work because they have to, not because they enjoy the pleasures they receive from it.
The thought kinda frightens me. Am I going to end up this way? Just working my way through life like a slave. Am I building the foundations to my future just so I can end up like everyone else. I wonder sometimes. Everyone just needs more vacation time for themselves and also to spend with their loved ones.

Life has many mysteries, which is why I don't buy into the theory of fate. How can it be fate when everyone has a choice, a choice to do one thing or the other. I believe fate is another version of coincidence. A coincidence that people want to call fate because they want to believe that a higher being other than themselves possesses the ability to control their actions and paths in life. If a bad choice is made, they can easily say that this happened for a reason, that there is reasoning behind the mistake. When in reality, the only probable reason is to teach us, so that we can learn to never make the same mistake. Theres always going to be trial and error, consequences to an action, and an effect to a cause.


I believe in luck, but luck is only a factor up to a certain extent. Just like in a game of poker, you can only go so far with luck because anyone who's skilled can scare you enough to fold that winning hand. But luck is always something good to have.


I will need this luck to ace midterms and finals. For now,

Toodles.